^ DRAWING by MATISSE, Study of a Model, 1934

I've been exploring self development for the past few years. Who am I? What's important to this gal? Me. What's she all about. In this process of reflecting on what I see and experience, think about and strive for... I have been seeing some patterns. The patterns are helping me define my personal values. And there has been some clarity that comes from that. One element I've noticed is that all my life, I've, or my body has, been appreciative of and curious about why energy shifts with a different perspective. The curious fact that I'm even aware of the idea of energy to begin with is a new understanding I have of my life experience.

I've noticed that in restaurants I always prefer to sit with my back against the wall. You know, facing the center of the room. I never really knew why, just that if I didn't, and ceded that seat to my dinner date, I wouldn't enjoy myself as much. Sitting otherwise appointed always felt uncomfortable, and not ideal. I would fidget and stress. I want to see the room and space around me, the servers, the food coming from the kitchen, the flowers, the candles. I crave the full view. There's a reason for this. The Feng Shui practice explains that we draw energy from our "command" perspective on the room.  

Additionally, I don't love living in homes that are situated on hills. I mean the ones where the front door faces the slant. I'm not worried about sliding or falling. I never feel a true sense of inner balance like something is slipping through my fingers. No way to live! I would rather to have a home on top of the hill...or down in the valley, on the flatlands. Either way, much much more calm for my soul.

Letting positivity and optimism flow and lead my interactions with friends and work always feels best. I feel that the ability to do this comes from a commitment to listening to my inner intuitive guide. If there are blocks, I stay flexible. And, I find that this generally brings the same vibes back to me. The "do one to others" saying is really just the "law of attraction" and its real, it works. There is something at play here. Energetics.

Similarly, since I was a little girl, I've been captivated by color, style and design. It's so powerful ~ it's pure energetic communication. Whether its the vibration of a certain hue or the composition is abstract or direct, whether it has movement or interesting proportions, I am 100% experiencing its influence. Quiet or activated, I receive these energetic messages. 

Realizing that this has been a constant part of my life has been a comforting discovery. I am not unique in this experience. I, like many people I'm sure, feel like we have the power to affect our experiences, but until recently I didn't know why or have the language to describe it. There have been people in my life that I feel have written off my optimism (especially in hard times) as a character flaw and inability to truly feel negative emotions vibrantly. I think my ability to listen in and trust in the temporary nature of things and utilize intuitive energy is quite powerful in connecting fully in my life... to seeing the big picture and beauty in the world. Donna Eden writes, in her Energy Medicine, "Early in my life, I came to understand that the colors, shapes, movements, and textures I saw hold meaning... When your energies are vibrant, so is your body." I look forward to more research and experimenting within this subject. I hope you will come with me. xo N.